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Breaking Through Therapeutic Gridlock

How to Respond When Clients Resist Your Advice

Jay Lappin • 1/9/2018

By Jay Lappin - As therapists, we need to be open to feedback, even criticism, as a means of deepening the therapeutic relationship. Establishing trust by moving beyond the reflex action of offering a solution and creating a context in which the possibility for transformation is greater than the pull of old patterns is hard work both for clients and for therapists.

Daily Blog

When Every Session Mattered

The Legacy of Braulio Montalvo

Jay Lappin • 8/8/2014

In this highly charged atmosphere, no one on staff, not even Minuchin himself, was more revered for his ability to penetrate to the core of a family’s problem than Braulio Montalvo...when I asked Braulio how he’d been able to turn around the session so quickly, he simply said, “I just gave him a [new] way to be strong.” Then, characteristically, without calling any more attention to himself, he walked out of the room. It was as if we’d just been shown how to make a skeleton key to an entire city by a master locksmith.

Daily Blog

Been There, Done That

When Clients Resist Your Advice, Hang in There

Jay Lappin • 5/29/1999

What should I do when the response to anything I suggest to a client is, "I've already tried that and it doesn't work"?

Magazine Article
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Breaking Through Therapeutic Gridlock

How to Respond When Clients Resist Your Advice

Jay Lappin • 1/9/2018

By Jay Lappin - As therapists, we need to be open to feedback, even criticism, as a means of deepening the therapeutic relationship. Establishing trust by moving beyond the reflex action of offering a solution and creating a context in which the possibility for transformation is greater than the pull of old patterns is hard work both for clients and for therapists.

Daily Blog

When Every Session Mattered

The Legacy of Braulio Montalvo

Jay Lappin • 8/8/2014

In this highly charged atmosphere, no one on staff, not even Minuchin himself, was more revered for his ability to penetrate to the core of a family’s problem than Braulio Montalvo...when I asked Braulio how he’d been able to turn around the session so quickly, he simply said, “I just gave him a [new] way to be strong.” Then, characteristically, without calling any more attention to himself, he walked out of the room. It was as if we’d just been shown how to make a skeleton key to an entire city by a master locksmith.

Daily Blog
Page 1 of 1 (2 Items)

Been There, Done That

When Clients Resist Your Advice, Hang in There

Jay Lappin • 5/29/1999

What should I do when the response to anything I suggest to a client is, "I've already tried that and it doesn't work"?

Magazine Article
Page 1 of 1
For over forty years, Jay Lappin, MSW, LCSW, has been helping families, couples and individuals navigate life's transitions to create strong, sustainable relationships. Trained in the relational architecture of Structural Family Therapy by Dr. Salvador Minuchin, he has worked with, written and taught professionals and the public how to become empathic and effective problem solvers. Jay's work on family therapy, couples therapy, diversity and large systems of care has been published in professional journals and texts and he has been quoted in popular magazines and newspapers such as Cosmopolitan, Self, USA Today, The Philadelphia Inquirer, and The Courier–Post. Since 1981, he has been a Contributing Editor for the Psychotherapy Networker.