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Is Therapy About Transformation, or Small Breakthroughs?

Learning to Separate Our Hopes for Our Clients from Their Goals for Themselves

William Doherty • 1/26/2018 • No Comments

By William Doherty - Are therapists more like shamans or family doctors? Explorers of human depths or more like Siri on your iPhone, just directing you from one place to another? I'm a skeptic about whether any clinical approach is good at getting clients consistently to the promised land of transformation. Maybe therapy is better understood as being about breakthroughs—small, medium, and large—rather than about transformation.

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VIDEO: Julie Gottman on When Partners Get Flooded

What Works in Couples Therapy

Julie Gottman • 10/18/2017 • 1 Comment

The hallmark of John and Julie Gottmans’ work is taking the rare step of actually observing the broadest sample of couples they can find, rather than relying on personal intuitions about the world, to inform their approach in the consulting room. In this clip from their keynote, Julie Gottman shares what four decades of research has taught them about how to help partners who become emotionally "flooded."

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The Gottmans' Call to Make Couples Therapy More Effective

A New Wave of Systems Theory and Therapy Now Includes Scientific Inquiry

John Gottman, Julie Gottman • 9/21/2017 • No Comments

By John and Julie Gottman - A second revolution is quietly taking shape—a new wave of systems theory and therapy—that marries the wisdom of clinical intuition with the rigors of scientific inquiry. With more precision and accuracy, we can now begin to answer two key questions about relationships: what causes trouble between people and what helps them not merely survive together, but actually rekindle love and delight?

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VIDEO: Julie Gottman on Making Couples' Life Dreams Come True

The Importance of Creating "Shared Meaning"

Julie Gottman • 3/22/2017 • No Comments

According to renowned couples therapist Julie Gottman, one of the main predictors of a romantic relationship's success or failure is how well partners can dialogue about their differences. In the following clip from her 2015 Networker Symposium keynote, Gottman explains what a healthy dialogue looks like, and how it fosters "shared meaning."

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The Two Essential Ingredients for a Loving, Long-Lasting Relationship

John Gottman Shares the Latest Research from his Love Lab

John Gottman • 1/16/2017 • No Comments

By John Gottman - What the latest research from my lab is telling us is that trust and commitment are both the key ingredients for being in love with your partner for a lifetime, and for having your marriage be a safe haven. These are the ingredients for not just loving your partner, but being in love with your partner.

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VIDEO: Julie Gottman on Why There's a Right Way for Couples to Argue

Breaking Down the Four Points of the "Conflict Blueprint"

Julie Gottman • 11/30/2016 • 6 Comments

Are you working with partners who can't seem to escape cycles of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling? According to renowned couples therapist Julie Gottman, there's actually a right way for couples to argue that moves partners out of conflict quickly and effectively. In the following video clip, she explains the four points of the Gottmans' Conflict Blueprint.

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The 2016 Election Is Raising Ethical Concerns for Therapists

Is There a Place for Politics in Therapy?

Chris Lyford • 9/16/2016 • No Comments

By Chris Lyford - It's almost a cardinal rule that therapy and politics don’t mix. However, concerned about the stakes in this year’s presidential election, some therapists are wondering whether they have a professional, and even moral, obligation to bring politics into the consulting room.

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Using Science to Determine Why Relationships Succeed or Fail

John and Julie Gottman and the 'Four Horsemen' of the Relationship Apocalypse

John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman • 12/18/2015 • No Comments

The couples we see are often in terrible distress. Don’t they deserve the best we can give them? Couples therapy, like any form of psychotherapy, is an art form at its best. But underlying the art, we need methods built on the truth of what couples need to succeed, rather than those based in myths patched together out of stereotypes. So we come to our first principle for doing effective couples therapy: use research-based methods to treat couples. Science is the avenue that can best lead us toward truth. After studying more than 3,000 couples and participating in studies of 3,500 more, here's a summary of everything our couples have taught us.

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The Chemistry Behind Couples Therapy

Pat Love Explains the Science of Effective Sex Therapy

Pat Love • 12/30/2014 • No Comments

Our culture speaks of "falling" in love. Other societies have compared infatuation to divine revelation, and to psychosis. We often say, in jest, that this experience of hurricane-force passion is "like a drug." But that oft-quipped analogy may turn out to be no joke. Some scientists now believe that the frenzied euphoria of romantic love may well be a bona fide, altered state of consciousness, primarily brought on by the action of phenylethylamine (PEA), a naturally occurring, amphetamine-like neurotransmitter. And if our desire problems are at least partly innate, then maybe we don't need to feel quite so ashamed and despairing about the muddle we're in.

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The Gottman Method: Couples Therapy Under the Microscope

John Gottman Blends Couples Counseling with Science

Katy Butler • 12/4/2014 • No Comments

Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, mathematician-turned-psychologist John Gottman performed experiments in which he videotaped ordinary couples in their most ordinary moments---chatting, kissing, and watching TV. But he also recorded how much they brought up painful subjects, how they responded to each other's bids for attention, and expressed emotion. Using complex computer models, he found that he could predict divorce with 91-percent accuracy, simply by analyzing seven variables in a couple's behavior during a five-minute disagreement. What he discovered made him famous, and eventually became the basis of Gottman Method Couples Therapy.


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