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Is Consensual Nonmonogamy Right for Your Clients?

...And Why Nonmonogamous Couples Tend to Avoid Couples Therapists Like the Plague

Margaret Nichols • 2/12/2018 • No Comments

By Margaret Nichols - In past decades, the only alternatives to involuntary celibacy in a relationship were affairs or divorce. But increasingly, people, including therapists, are recognizing there’s another option: consensual nonmonogamy. The idea isn’t new, but nonmonogamy is threatening to a lot of therapists for the same reason it’s threatening to most people: we instinctively want to believe that these unconventional relationships are flawed.

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VIDEO: Susan Johnson on Accessing Primary Emotion in Couples Work

The Negative Patterns That Shut Down Romance, and How to Beat Them

Susan Johnson • 11/15/2017 • 9 Comments

Susan Johnson, the developer of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and a presenter at the 2018 Networker Symposium, has devoted her career to demonstrating that it’s not an oxymoron to speak of the“science of love.” Listen as she explains how attachment science can help couples discover a pathway to optimal lovemaking.

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Creating Relationships That Heal

Susan Johnson Explains What Causes Most Couples Conflict

Susan Johnson • 8/10/2017 • 1 Comment

By Susan Johnson - After all these years of working with couples, I now understand that the heart of the matter rarely concerns the content of a couple's arguments, but almost always concerns the strength and responsiveness of the attachment relationship they have. And the bottom-line test of that relationship is in the answer to a fundamental question each is asking the other: Are you really there for me?

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Why Emotional Safety is the Defining Feature of Good Sex

Susan Johnson on Infusing Sex with Emotion and Attachment

Susan Johnson • 7/27/2017 • No Comments

By Susan Johnson - Passion is about so much more than responding to novel stimuli or ramped-up lust. In the dance of sex, passion can be constantly renewed, not simply by finding more exotic sexual positions, but by changing the level of our engagement in the moment and with our lover. If we really understand love, we can also understand how to shape lasting passion.

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VIDEO: Ron Potter-Efron on Helping Clients with Anger Problems

"Building a Bridge" from the Old Brain to the New Brain

Ron Potter-Efron • 7/26/2017 • 1 Comment

Is it possible to overcome the typical oppositional response of a client with anger issues? According to Ron Potter-Efron, the key to working effectively with anger is first defusing reactivity by building a bridge from the response of the "old brain" to the "new brain." In this video clip, he explains how it’s done.

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VIDEO: Susan Johnson on the Link Between Sex and Safety

How a "Secure Base" Promotes Sexual Exploration

Susan Johnson • 5/17/2017 • 1 Comment

What does it take to restore physical intimacy to a failing relationship? In this video clip, Susan Johnson, the originator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, uses bonding science to explain the one condition every relationship needs in order to repair emotional hurt and restore satisfying sex. Take a moment to watch this clip. You'll be glad you did.

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VIDEO: Susan Johnson on Breaking Negative Sexual Cycles

How "Secure Base" Restores the Emotional and Physical Spark

Susan Johnson • 2/1/2017 • 2 Comments

In the following video clip, renowned couples therapist Susan Johnson shares the story of her clients Frank and Sylvie—two partners stuck in a cycle of shame, hurt, and anger—and how, through establishing what she refers to as "secure base," they restored both emotional and physical passion to their relationship.

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The Two Essential Ingredients for a Loving, Long-Lasting Relationship

John Gottman Shares the Latest Research from his Love Lab

John Gottman • 1/16/2017 • No Comments

By John Gottman - What the latest research from my lab is telling us is that trust and commitment are both the key ingredients for being in love with your partner for a lifetime, and for having your marriage be a safe haven. These are the ingredients for not just loving your partner, but being in love with your partner.

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VIDEO: Susan Johnson on the Power of Emotion

The Secret Ingredient in Good Therapy

Susan Johnson • 9/12/2016 • 3 Comments

Emotion is the most important motivating force bringing clients to our offices in the first place. Nevertheless, therapists are often strangely queasy in the presence of strong emotion. In this clip from her 2013 Symposium keynote address, Susan Johnson offers a vivid picture of how we can take full therapeutic advantage of the emotional force field to propel the process of change.

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The Importance of Embracing Emotion in Couples Therapy

Susan Johnson Explains Why Emotions are a Road Map for Understanding Couples Conflict

Susan Johnson • 4/20/2016 • 3 Comments

By Susan Johnson - Neuroscientists have recently established emotion is the prime force shaping how we cope with life’s challenges. Psychotherapists are beginning to learn how to work with emotion, rather than trying to control it or creating change through purely cognitive or behavioral means.

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