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Esther Perel's Guide to Creating Erotic Experiences

Good Intimacy Doesn't Always Mean Good Lovemaking

Esther Perel • No Comments

By Esther Perel - It’s long been the conventional wisdom among couples therapists that if couples fix the emotional issues in their relationship, their sexual lives will improve. But good intimacy doesn’t guarantee good sex.

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Wrestling with Our Clinical Choices

Do Any of Really Know What's Right?

David Treadway • 9 Comments

By David Treadway - How do any of us therapists know what’s good enough in the unfolding of people’s lives? I know I practice an often intuitive craft, not an exact and predictable science. The truth is that all too often, like most practitioners, I can never be quite sure how much difference my bit part plays in the unfolding drama of clients' lives.

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Healing After Betrayal

It Takes These Two Therapeutic Approaches

Steven Stosny • 1 Comment

By Steven Stosny - Intimate betrayal strikes at the core of our capacity to trust and love, violating the fundamental expectation that gives us the courage to connect deeply—the belief that the person we love won’t intentionally hurt us. This requires therapists to reach a balance between validating their clients’ pain and empowering them to improve their lives.

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Getting Real in Couples Therapy

Ignoring the Destructive Patterns in Front of Us Does Our Clients a Disservice

Terry Real • 6 Comments

By Terry Real - It's disrespectful to clients not to let them in on the truth about what we witness regularly in our offices as they play out their relationships in front of us: the ways they deal with their partners are often self-centered, unfeeling, and counterproductive. I believe that in order to teach our clients how to be authentic and connected, we must be real with them ourselves.

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So Your Client Is Having an Affair...

Should You Be a Secret-Keeper or is Honesty the Best Policy?

Michele Scheinkman • 5 Comments

By Michele Scheinkman - Underlying the perceived magnitude of an affair is an idealized view of marriage as the "shelter" in our lives, with a primary function of providing emotional security and attunement. I've found it perplexing that, although we live in an ostensibly liberal and sexually permissive society, therapists typically have one-track minds regarding how to approach infidelity.

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Using Neuroscience in Therapy

Shifting Emotional States in an Instant

Frank Anderson • 3 Comments

By Frank Anderson - Most extreme reactions resulting from trauma fall under one of two categories: sympathetic hyperarousal and parasympathetic blunting. Understanding what happens in the nervous system when clients experience either orients me on how to go beyond my immediate reactions when confronted with trauma symptoms in the therapy room.

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VIDEO: What Infidelity Looks Like

All Types of Cheating Have This in Common

Tammy Nelson • 2 Comments

Of course, sexual affairs are red flags for infidelity, but there are common elements that make any outside relationship an infidelity. Sex therapist Tammy Nelson explains what they are and how to spot them.

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Returning to Connection

A Couple on Brink of Divorce Finally Learns to Show Vulnerability

Silvina Irwin • 1 Comment

By Silvina Irwin - It’s my first session with Jeff and Miranda. “Honestly, I don’t know why I’m here,” Miranda spits out. “He's cheated on me since we started dating 25 years ago." Can I avoid doing further damage to their precarious relationship? Do I tell Miranda to run for the hills? What if Miranda takes a leap of faith and decides to trust Jeff once more—and he betrays her yet again?

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VIDEO: Susan Johnson on the Power of Emotion in Couples Work

The Behavior Patterns That Kill Romance, and How to Beat Them

Susan Johnson • 9 Comments

Susan Johnson, the developer of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and a presenter at the 2019 Networker Symposium, has devoted her career to demonstrating that it’s not an oxymoron to speak of the "science of love." Listen as she explains how attachment science can help couples discover a pathway to optimal lovemaking.

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How To Become Your Best Self

A Story About Changing Your Habits

Katy Butler • No Comments

By Katy Butler - In earlier centuries, systems of human transformation were embedded within local life. Today, in a culture freed from communal rhythms, our habits of the heart are nearly forgotten. In this postmodern world of infinite choice and incoherent structure, what practical steps should we take now to become our best selves?

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