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A Late-Life Lesson in Love

A Special Feature from Our Family Matters Department

Jeanne Folks • 5/22/2018 • 1 Comment

By Jeanne Folks - It's difficult to describe my shock as my mother opens the front door and ushers me into the house of my youth. She's aged-shrunken, with poorly dyed blond hair and the familiar rigidity in her hands and body. Her once beautifully straight teeth are crooked, and one tooth is missing. It's been eight years since my last visit.

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The Myths About Male Sexuality

Esther Perel on Challenging the Definitional Void of Manhood

Esther Perel • 5/21/2018 • No Comments

By Esther Perel - At this moment in our society, we’re experiencing a reckoning in the relationships between men and women, in the relationships between gender and anatomy, and in the relationships between sex and power. As therapists, we have a unique role at this moment. We need to help create a culture where men can express their needs in more than just the masculine code of sex.

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How Much Are We Really in Control?

Retraining the Knee-Jerk Brain

Brent Atkinson • 5/18/2018 • 1 Comment

By Brent Atkinson - Conscious understanding and effort aren’t the mighty forces we assume they are. Our automatic urges and inclinations are much stronger than most of us ever imagined. Even so, there's something we can do to retrain the emotional brain.

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VIDEO: Valeria Chuba on Male Sexuality in the Age of #MeToo

Is Male Sexuality Inherently Violent?

Lauren Dockett • 5/16/2018 • No Comments

In the wake of the #MeToo movement, men are reevaluating the way they approach courtship, relationships, gender roles, and love. Their therapists must switch gears as well. In the following video, Networker senior writer Lauren Dockett speaks with Valeria Chuba, clinical sexologist and certified intimacy coach, on how male sexuality is strongly connected to masculinity in our culture, and why male sexuality isn't inherently violent.

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Loving Wholeheartedly

Fraught Parent-Child Relationships Can be an Opportunity for Personal Growth

Leonard Felder • 5/8/2018 • No Comments

By Leonard Felder - Every now and then, we're lucky enough to meet someone who feels driven to let go of old emotional baggage and find the kind of freedom that comes with being able to love wholeheartedly, without inner reservation. When that person is a client, they're a great lesson to us in our own lives.

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The Stories That Bind Us

A Special Feature from Our Family Matters Department

Janine Roberts • 5/7/2018 • No Comments

By Janine Roberts - When I was eight years old, I reached into Mom's jewelry drawer and found a folded piece of paper that read: “I want to die here in the meadow. The lupine and Indian paintbrush around me.” Not long ago, my granddaughter was born. She taught me anew how we want to connect and be seen—something Mom needed from me.

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Reframing the "Burden" of Caretaking

Why Accepting Help is Empowering for Those Receiving and Giving

Barry Jacobs • 5/3/2018 • No Comments

By Barry Jacobs - For those who've spent their lifetimes taking pride in giving generously to others, suddenly being on the receiving end of care because of illness or age-related infirmity can be tormenting. For many, rejecting help is regarded as a measure of one's courage and determination in battling family crises brought on by old age or disease. Here are some ways of overcoming this common tendency to refuse help.

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The Retiring Rebel

Rethinking the Way We Help Clients Face the Midlife Crisis

Tammy Nelson • 4/20/2018 • No Comments

By Tammy Nelson - Rather than thinking of midlife as an emotional unraveling, I believe it’s more helpful to reframe this stage of life in our early 50s and 60s as “second adolescence,” a time when we’re old enough to appreciate how short life is, but young enough to find new ways to enjoy it.

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VIDEO: Esther Perel on the New, Uncertain Landscape of Love

What Role Do Therapists Play?

Esther Perel • 4/18/2018 • No Comments

Our relational lives are undergoing a radical shift, says Esther Perel, couples therapist, bestselling author, and TED speaker. In the following video clip from her 2018 Symposium Keynote, "The Future of Modern Love," Perel explains why today's romantic landscape—and the questions we're asking ourselves about desire and couplehood—are unprecedented, and what therapists have to offer clients who come to us for guidance.

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Kinship Without Connection

A Special Feature from Our Family Matters Department

Mark Matousek • 4/13/2018 • No Comments

By Mark Matousek - One ordinary day last year, an email appeared from someone I didn’t know, a Jim who lived in Phoenix. It explained that his mother had found a book of mine online, realized I was looking for her ex-husband, and passed the book along to her son. Jim had read the book, done the math, and deduced that we had the same missing father. We agreed to meet three weeks later.

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