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Reflections from a Millennial Therapist

The Highs, Lows, and New Realities of Starting a Therapy Career Today

Rachel Zar • 11/17/2018 • No Comments

By Rachel Zar - I'm a millennial. And despite the negative connotation often imposed upon this generation by the media and by the generations that came before us, I don’t think it’s such a bad thing after all—especially for a therapist.

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The Courage to Let Go

A Special Story from Our Family Matters Department

Elizabeth Young • 10/4/2018 • No Comments

By Elizabeth Young - A whirlwind romance turns into a troubled relationship.

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Why Are Narcissists So Hard to Treat?

How and When to Push Back

Wendy Behary • 8/17/2018 • 7 Comments

By Wendy Behary - Narcissists are notoriously difficult clients. The key to working with them is being direct about the roiling emotions they trigger in us, and remembering that their self-aggrandizement almost always covers up painful longings for true connection, intimacy, and a sense that they’re "good enough."

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What to Say When Clients Push Your Buttons

How to Spot, Confront, and Correct Self-Defeating Patterns

Wendy Behary • 3/27/2018 • 2 Comments

By Wendy Behary - There are ways to deliver profoundly effective, on-the-spot responses during difficult encounters—ways that can mobilize you and restore the receptive, flexible, and empathically attuned you. I've chosen a small sample of a long list of examples that colleagues and trainees have shared with me over the years, including my own personal favorites.

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Lessons from Therapy with Adolescent Girls

Four Tips for Strengthening the Therapeutic Alliance

Martha Straus • 8/22/2017 • 1 Comment

By Martha Straus - For me, working with girls is what I do with the greatest interest and passion. I have wells of empathy to draw on, and can stay attuned with them more easily than with males. Our bond is implicit, and by being as fully authentic, connected, and present as I know how, I help them make it explicit. Here are four of the biggest lessons I've learned in my therapeutic work with adolescent girls.

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Technology: Tool for Therapeutic Connection, or a Hindrance?

Psychologist Sherry Turkle on the Impact of Virtual Intimacy

Richard Simon and Mary Sykes Wylie • 4/29/2015 • No Comments

In our high-tech, computer-obsessed age, author and psychologist Sherry Turkle's key mission has become to unravel "how our increasingly intimate relationship with technology...changes the way we see ourselves as people. It isn't so much what technology is doing for us, but what it's doing to us." More and more, as Turkle sees it, we're the machine, and the machine is us. Our electronic stuff is just too useful, too pleasurable, too seductive to give up. But that seductiveness incurs significant costs, which we've barely begun to appreciate. What impact will this, or any of our deepening infatuations with all things cyber, have on our ability to connect face-to-face with each other, in real time?

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Lost in Electronica

Today's Media Culture is Leaving Boys at a Loss for Words

Adam Cox • 10/24/2014 • No Comments

My year treating high school boys taught me a lesson that still guides my work: if words are the currency of most interpersonal exchange, many boys are on the verge of social bankruptcy. When it comes to communication challenges, gender discrepancies are staggering. Boys make up 75 percent of special-education classes, are far more frequently diagnosed with syndromes ranging from ADHD to autism that involve social-learning problems, and account for nearly 80 percent of children identified as emotionally troubled. Our world is increasingly driven by communication and the need for emotional intelligence---attributes that generally don't come easily for boys---and they're clearly falling behind. In spite of the still-potent icon of the silent male in the American psyche, there are far fewer life options today---whether academic, career, or relational---that can accommodate a boy (or man) of few words.

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Hungry for Connection

10 Ways to Improve Your Therapy with Adolescent Girls

Martha Straus • 10/16/2014 • No Comments

Working with girls in therapy is what I do with the greatest interest and passion. Like many female therapists who have this specialty, I had my own tough times as a teenager. I have wells of empathy to draw on, and can stay attuned with them more easily than with males, or females of other ages. Our bond is implicit, and by being as fully authentic, connected, and present as I know how, I help them make it explicit. Thus the thoughts that follow are largely informed by my 20-odd years of experience treating adolescent girls and their families. They synthesize what's helped me forge alliances with them quickly and inspire change.

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Beyond Viagra

Why the Promise of Cure Far Exceeds the Reality

Barry McCarthy • 9/18/2014 • 1 Comment

Contrary to media myths, movies, and male braggadocio, sex is seldom 100-percent successful, especially as men age. The most important fact for our sex-saturated society to accept is that 5 to 15 percent of all sexual experiences among well-functioning couples are dissatisfying or dysfunctional. In other words, contrary to the cultural myth of ecstasy all the time as the norm, almost all happy, sexually fulfilled couples experience lousy sex occasionally.

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