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The Two Ingredients for Deepening Love

What Buddhism Can Teach Us About Partnership and Its Challenges

Polly Young-Eisendrath • 1 Comment

By Polly Young-Eisendrath - In order to succeed at truly loving another, you must be able to check in with yourself and get a sense of how you are seeing, hearing, and feeling, so that you can come to recognize your own subjective picture or image or story of the other person and of your relationship.

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Is Porn a Threat to Public Health?

Here Are the Questions You Need to Ask Clients Using Porn

Wendy Maltz • 4 Comments

By Wendy Maltz - The explosion in porn use has happened so fast that many therapists have been caught unprepared. And despite the increase in the number of people suffering from serious consequences of habitual porn use, few therapists feel comfortable and confident addressing porn-related concerns.

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The Flow of Dialogue

Three Steps to Effective Conversation

Oren Jay Sofer • No Comments

By Oren Jay Sofer - Dialogue is a lot like dancing. It takes time to learn the basics, but when we’re conversing smoothly with someone else, it can be magical. We find a flow as we shift attention back and forth, hearing one another and allowing things to settle.

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Can Open Relationships Work?

How to Know When They're Right (or Not) and How to Set Ground Rules

Rick Miller • No Comments

By Rick Miller - Even for healthy couples, opening up a relationship in a way that’s not destructive is hard work and requires a great deal of communication around what is and isn’t acceptable. Yet even with these guidelines established, helping couples navigate this territory is a challenge. Here are some best practices.

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5 Strategies for Forging Healthy Relationships with Others (and Yourself)

How to Make Connections for a Truly Happy Life after 50

Andrea Brandt • No Comments

By Andrea Brandt - In this third part of a three-part series adapted from the upcoming book Mindful Aging: Embracing Your Life after 50 to Find Fulfillment, Purpose, and Joy, author and clinician Andrea Brandt looks at how a more intentional relationship with ourselves can lead to more satisfying relationships with others.

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Using Mindfulness When Relationships Fail

Three Steps to Help Male Clients Tolerate Emotional Intensity

Karen Kissell Wegela • No Comments

By Karen Kissell Wegela - When men come into therapy, typically in a crisis after a partner has just ended a relationship, they have an opportunity to learn not only how to communicate more personally, but also to discover how much they've become estranged from their own inner life. Therapeutic work with these clients has three parts.

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Helping Women Work Through "Aloneness"

Why Being Apart from Others Also Means Being in the Presence of Oneself

Florence Falk • No Comments

By Florence Falk - More women may be living alone today than at any time in human history. Yet "aloneness" is virtually invisible as a subject of even passing concern in the social and cultural zeitgeist. Shouldn't we, as therapists, pay more attention to it? I believe we need to take a more systematic and comprehensive therapeutic approach to the role that aloneness can play at every stage of women's lives, whether they're single or married, young or old.

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VIDEO: Julie Gottman on Making Couples' Life Dreams Come True

The Importance of Creating "Shared Meaning"

Julie Gottman • No Comments

According to renowned couples therapist Julie Gottman, one of the main predictors of a romantic relationship's success or failure is how well partners can dialogue about their differences. In the following clip from her 2015 Networker Symposium keynote, Gottman explains what a healthy dialogue looks like, and how it fosters "shared meaning."

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The Secret to Helping Agitated Couples Reel in Emotional Arousal

How Oxytocin Stimulates Trust and Connection, and Helps Relationships Heal

Linda Graham • No Comments

When clients are emotionally worked up, caught in fight-flight-freeze mode, all their hard-earned skills in empathic listening and responsible (and responsive) speaking go out the window. Nothing therapeutic is going to happen until they feel calm enough and safe enough to reengage with each other. But by teaching behavior that helps clients' brains release oxytocin, a naturally occurring hormone which stimulates feelings of bonding and trust, and reduces fear and anxiety, we can create potent catalysts of psycho-physiological change.

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When Three Threatens Two

Must Parenthood Bring Down the Curtain on Romance?

Esther Perel • 1 Comment

Sex makes babies. So it is ironic that the child, the embodiment of the couple's love, so often threatens the very romance that brought that child into being. Sex, which sets the entire enterprise in motion, is often abandoned once children enter the picture. But the brave and determined couple who maintains an erotic connection is, above all, the couple who values it. When they sense desire in crisis, they become industrious, and make intentional, diligent attempts to resuscitate. They know that it's not children who extinguish the flame of desire: it's adults who fail to keep the spark alive.

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