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Fully Present Sex

How Mindfulness Can Heighten Desire, Arousal, and Satisfaction

Lauren Dockett

By Lauren Dockett - When sex becomes fraught or painful, fear and worries can overtake this important source of pleasure. But clinicians and clients are embracing a nonmedical solution: mindfulness practices that cultivate sexual self-understanding, desire, and pleasure in the bedroom—and the effects are mind-blowing.

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Mastering the Tango of Love

Sue Johnson on Discovering Hidden Moments of Connection

Susan Johnson

By Sue Johnson - If you’re going to help a couple get closer and learn to really dance together, whether in bed or anywhere else, the key is helping partners experience bonding moments that open them to becoming emotionally accessible to each other. If you can do that, their bodies will follow, and sex will almost always improve.

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Rethinking the Female Affair

When It Comes to Treating Women Who Cheat, Too Many Therapists Are Making This Mistake

Tammy Nelson

By Tammy Nelson - Far from being evidence of pathology or marital bankruptcy, a woman’s affair can be a way of expressing a desire for an entirely different self. Sometimes, understanding an affair as an unconscious bid for self-empowerment, relief from bad sex, or a response to a lack of choices or personal freedom is an important first step toward a fuller, more mature selfhood.

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VIDEO: Joe Kort on Doing Your Best Work with LGBTQ Clients

The Myth of Sex Addiction, Common Mistakes, and More

Joe Kort

Is the sex addiction model doing more harm than good? What's the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity? And what are the most common mistakes therapists make when working with LGBTQ clients, and how can you avoid them? Sex therapist Joe Kort answers these questions and more.

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Selling Clients on Consent

...And Creating a Space for Men in the Age of #MeToo

Lauren Dockett

By Lauren Dockett - Privately shaken and sometimes concerned about their own complicity, many men are now worried about how the #MeToo movement will deepen the gulf of understanding between them and the women in their lives. But much of the secrecy and shame around sex for men and women could be mitigated by embracing a practice of consent.

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The Myths About Male Sexuality

Esther Perel on Challenging the Definitional Void of Manhood

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - At this moment in our society, we’re experiencing a reckoning in the relationships between men and women, in the relationships between gender and anatomy, and in the relationships between sex and power. As therapists, we have a unique role at this moment. We need to help create a culture where men can express their needs in more than just the masculine code of sex.

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Can Open Relationships Work?

How to Know When They're Right (or Not) and How to Set Ground Rules

Rick Miller

By Rick Miller - Even for healthy couples, opening up a relationship in a way that’s not destructive is hard work and requires a great deal of communication around what is and isn’t acceptable. Yet even with these guidelines established, helping couples navigate this territory is a challenge. Here are some best practices.

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What Talking About Fantasy Can Do for Couples Therapy

...And Four Questions to Get the Conversation Started

Tammy Nelson

By Tammy Nelson - Sexual boredom often results from the assumption by each partner that there's no longer anything new to discover about the other, or about their sex life together. I've found that a therapist can alleviate such sexual ennui by helping each partner reveal previously undisclosed erotic fantasies. This apparently simple step can lead to new ways of seeing and experiencing the partner and the self.

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Helping Parents Rekindle the Erotic Spark

Why Does Parenthood Deliver Such a Fatal Blow to Intimacy?

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - The transition from two to three is one of the most profound challenges a couple will ever face. Family life flourishes in an atmosphere of comfort and consistency. Yet unpredictability, spontaneity, and risk are precisely where eroticism resides. Eros is a force that doesn't like to be constrained. When it settles into repetition, habit, or rules, it touches its death.

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Helping Struggling Couples Find Their Sexual Style

A Guide to the Four Types: Traditional, Soulmate, Emotionally Expressive, Complementary

Barry McCarthy

By Barry McCarthy - What is a sexual style? It has to do with recognizing how different elements of a couple's sexual experience form a pattern—their way of initiating sex, how they pleasure each other and engage in erotic scenarios, the role of intercourse in their lovemaking, the afterplay scenarios they prefer, and the meaning sex has for them and its place in their relationship. In my clinical work, the vast majority of couples tend to fall within one of four styles.

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