Archives

Sort by:

A Polyvagal Primer

A Three-Part Exercise That Taps Into the Nervous System to Create Safety and Trust

Deb Dana

By Deb Dana - The three elements of our autonomic nervous system—ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal—act as our largely subconscious surveillance system, working in the background to read subtle signals of safety or threat. That’s why I help clients create a clear map of their own autonomic nervous systems, so they become aware of their patterns of response to ease and distress.

Read more...

So Your Client Is Having an Affair...

Should You Be a Secret-Keeper or is Honesty the Best Policy?

Michele Scheinkman

By Michele Scheinkman - Underlying the perceived magnitude of an affair is an idealized view of marriage as the "shelter" in our lives, with a primary function of providing emotional security and attunement. I've found it perplexing that, although we live in an ostensibly liberal and sexually permissive society, therapists typically have one-track minds regarding how to approach infidelity.

Read more...

When Therapy Calls for a Boundary Crossing

A Story About When Professional Helping Meets Human Concern

Dea Silbertrust

By Dea Silbertrust - After surgery, my therapist's willingness to trade the comfort and security of her office for my apartment would be considered a boundary crossing by some. But in accommodating me, she demonstrated the difference between a boundary crossing and a boundary violation, and, more important, what it means to offer a simple act of grace to another human being.

Read more...

The Two Essential Ingredients for a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship

John Gottman's Latest Research from the "Love Lab"

John Gottman

By John Gottman - What the latest research from my lab is telling us is that trust and commitment are both the key ingredients for being in love with your partner for a lifetime, and for having your marriage be a safe haven. These are the ingredients for not just loving your partner, but being in love with your partner.

Read more...

Esther Perel's Secret to Weathering an Affair

Two Ways Couples Who Bounced Back Made It Happen

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - For several years, I've been contacting couples I've treated to find out more about the long-term impact of the infidelity that brought them to therapy. What were the useful shock absorbers that sustained the couple? Did they think that therapy had helped? I identified three basic patterns in the way couples reorganize themselves after an infidelity.

Read more...

A Week in the Life of a School Social Worker

Rapid-Fire Therapy, Creative Strategies, and Building Trust in an Instant

Howard Honigsfeld

By Howard Honigsfeld - Public School 48, where I’m on staff as a social worker, sits on a block between a juvenile detention center and a strip club. A week of work can be exciting, frustrating, and often hair-raising—anything but boring.

Read more...

When Your Client Drops a Last-Minute Bombshell

Four Common Scenarios and How to Handle Them

Daniela Gitlin

By Daniela Gitlin - When clients drop “bombshells” in the last few minutes of a session, it can be hard to end on time. Here's a framework for not only handling these unexpected moments, but welcoming them.

Read more...

In Your Client's Shoes

To Get a Depressed Client Unstuck, First Understand Their Thought Process

Michael Yapko

By Michael Yapko - Often when I work with depressed clients, I learn about the discriminations they didn’t make that have made matters worse. That typically leads to my asking a series of questions that begin with the word how. I’m not looking to interpret the meaning of people’s depression: I’m trying to understand the way my client is thinking that limits their perspective.

Read more...

VIDEO: Ken Hardy on the Assaulted Sense of Self

Voicelessness in Black America

Ken Hardy

What do we contribute as a profession to the "conversation about race"? As lame and ungainly as this phrase often sounds, it continues to heat up around us, and therapists can no more ignore it in their lives than they can in their offices, says therapist Ken Hardy.

Read more...

Has Happiness Been Taken Too Far?

Three Reasons Happiness is Sometimes Harmful

Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener

By Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener - A common theory holds that happiness is humanity’s natural resting state. But positive emotions and thoughts aren’t always useful. Here are several often overlooked research results about a happy mindset that sound a warning.

Read more...

Page 1 of 2 (19 Blog Posts)