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June Quandary: My Client is Moving Overseas to Marry a Man She's Never Met!

Five Clinicians Give Their Take on This Tricky Clinical Scenario

Chris Lyford • 4 Comments

By Chris Lyford - Diane has just announced she intends to move overseas to marry a man she recently met online. This raises an alarm for her therapist, but he's unsure about how to proceed. Here's how five clinicians say they'd tackle the situation.

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Rethinking the Female Affair

When It Comes to Treating Women Who Cheat, Too Many Therapists Are Making This Mistake

Tammy Nelson • 2 Comments

By Tammy Nelson - Far from being evidence of pathology or marital bankruptcy, a woman’s affair can be a way of expressing a desire for an entirely different self. Sometimes, understanding an affair as an unconscious bid for self-empowerment, relief from bad sex, or a response to a lack of choices or personal freedom is an important first step toward a fuller, more mature selfhood.

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VIDEO: Mary Jo Barrett on Doing Trauma Treatment Right

What's New in Trauma Treatment, the Importance of Groups, and More

Mary Jo Barrett • No Comments

In this interview, Networker Assistant Editor Chris Lyford talks to family therapist and trauma specialist Mary Jo Barrett about the evolution of trauma treatment and the importance of bringing families into the mix.

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Therapist Peer Groups, the "Emotional Lifeboat"

Doing Self-Care by Yourself Isn't Always Enough

Patrick Dougherty • No Comments

By Patrick Dougherty - In the sea of trauma that surrounds us in our daily lives and in our offices, self-care is a life jacket. But collective trauma needs a collective response. Being part of a group of therapists dedicated to talking about vicarious trauma and sharing their own experiences is more than a life jacket—it's a human lifeboat, one with more resilience than we could ever generate alone. 

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VIDEO: David Kessler on Coming to Terms with the End

A Special Storytelling Piece from Our 2018 Symposium

David Kessler • 1 Comment

When our clients are facing their own mortality, how can we guide them in a way that's both compassionate and realistic? In the following video, therapist David Kessler, an expert on healing from grief, shares the story of his work with a terminally ill client and what it took for her to come to terms with her illness and finally reach a place of acceptance.

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What Successful Couples Are Doing Right

The Gottmans on Mastering the Brain’s Seven Pathways to Emotional Connection

John Gottman, Julie Gottman • No Comments

By John and Julie Gottman - John and Julie Gottman have spent decades developing an evidence base for couples therapy, honing their techniques for stabilizing marriage through research with nearly 3,000 couples. In the following excerpt from their 2018 Networker Symposium keynote address, they explain what research has revealed about the crucial role the brain’s seven different command systems can play in enhancing the quality of couples’ emotional connection.

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Is Porn Incompatible with a Loving Relationship?

Talking Frankly About Secrecy, Shame, and New Levels of Intimacy

Joe Kort • 6 Comments

By Joe Kort - Despite the undeniable harm that porn can do, we therapists need to bear in mind a fundamental fact: the overwhelming majority of people exposed to it don't become addicts. To begin to see porn in a more normalizing light, it can be helpful to understand the ways in which porn can be incorporated into a relationship without secretiveness or shame.

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Crossing to Safety

A Master Clinician Shares Her Most Therapeutic Moment

Courtney Armstrong • 1 Comment

By Courtney Armstrong - Many people wonder how therapists manage to do the work they do. Of the thousands of meaningful sessions that take place in a therapist’s office, certain ones stand out. In the following storytelling piece, Courtney Armstrong shares a memorable moment from her own work.

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Learning to Let Go

Sometimes, Too Much Investment in a Client's Recovery Keeps Everyone Stuck

Daphne de Marneffe • 1 Comment

By Daphne de Marneffe - After decades in practice, I still find myself blindsided by certain clients in ways that both humble and mystify me. I’ve learned that if I’m going to be helpful to these clients, I have to work through something difficult in myself. Our ability to inhabit our clients' experiences is part of what makes us good therapists, but there’s always a delicate balancing act in not getting too involved.

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The Heart of Emotional Intelligence

Illuminating the Connection Between What We Feel, What We Want, and How We Act

Steven Krugman • 3 Comments

By Steven Krugman - Mentalization refers to the mind’s innate capacity to make sense of social experiences and implicitly know how to respond to them. But while mentalization fosters an empathic awareness of the moods and mindsets of others, it also enables us to know what our own states of mind and body mean.

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