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My First Client, My Best Teacher

From an Evening of Storytelling 2018

May/June 2018
A challenging client, who won't speak or swallow, teaches a therapist just starting out how to find her own voice.
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Consensual Nonmonogamy

When Is It Right for Your Clients?

January/February 2018
In past decades, the only alternatives to involuntary celibacy in a relationship were affairs or divorce. But more and more therapists are recognizing there’s another option: consensual nonmonogamy. Although the idea isn’t new, it’s challenging our field to see that committed, secure relationships can take many shapes and forms.

Family Matters

Broken Heart Syndrome: Can It Run in the Family?

July/August 2017
Can broken hearts run in a family?

Clinician's Digest

Has Porn Become a Public Health Crisis?

July/August 2016
Has pornography become a public health crisis?
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The Dance of Sex

January/February 2016
If you’re going to help a couple get closer and really learn to work harmoniously with one another, whether in bed or anywhere else, the key is helping partners experience bonding moments that open them to becoming emotionally accessible to each other. If you can do that, their bodies will follow, and sex will almost always improve.

Transforming Sexual Narratives

From Dysfunction to Discovery

January/February 2016
Therapists too often ignore the importance of the longstanding, often unconscious stories that partners carry with them into their sexual relationship. Helping them share these stories with each other can open the pathway to erotic discovery.

Lessons from the Love Lab

The Science of Couples Therapy

November/December 2015
The pioneers who birthed couples and family therapy never paused to scienti cally study the relationships they treated. Now, after systematically observing and doing therapy with thousands of couples, two of the field’s leading researchers summarize what they’ve learned about successful relationships and effective couples therapy.

Facing Our Dark Side

Some Forms of Self-Compassion Are Harder than Others

September/October 2015
Achieving a genuine state of self-compassion is a more challenging undertaking than many realize. Far from a little feel-better incantation you offer yourself when stressed, it’s a journey into multiple parts of yourself that may include the good, the bad, the ugly, the confused, the frightened, and the abandoned.
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The 5 Myths of Self-Compassion

What Keeps Us from Being Kinder to Ourselves?

September/October 2015
There’s now a growing body of research demonstrating that relating to ourselves in a kind, friendly manner is essential for emotional wellbeing. More pointedly, research proves false many of the common myths about self-compassion that keep us trapped in the prison of relentless self-criticism.

Case Study

The Black Shadow: Facing the Taboo Issue of Race in the Consulting Room

November/December 2013
Raising the issue of race in therapy can help African American clients connect their personal struggles to an enduring cultural legacy that many insist isn’t supposed to matter anymore.
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