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Does Your Child Need Moral Guidance?

The Four Components of Conscience

Lawrence Cohen • 11/29/2018 • No Comments

By Lawrence Cohen - A great deal of parental worry comes from not realizing that the aspects of a healthy conscience develop unevenly and that the road to morality is slow and bumpy. Though you may have to dig for examples, most children have some capacity for empathy, cooperation, and kindness. 

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Resisting the Seduction of "Otherness"

...Once Upon a Time in a Diversity Training Session

Ken Hardy • 9/6/2018 • 4 Comments

By Ken Hardy - When I got my doctorate in family therapy, I went to work in community-based organizations, believing that I'd change the world. Today, I realize that my work is about helping people see the insidious impact of the "otherness process." Our task poses formidable challenges, but failing to resist the seductions of "otherness" is failing at a fundamental principle of our work.

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The Perils of Empathy at Full Throttle

Four Strategies to Protect Yourself Against Vicarious Traumatization

Babette Rothschild • 9/4/2018 • No Comments

By Babette Rothschild -  It's our gift for empathy that draws us to our work. And yet, empathy at full throttle—felt and projected 100 percent with our bodies, hearts, and minds—has its risks.

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Why Are Narcissists So Hard to Treat?

How and When to Push Back

Wendy Behary • 8/17/2018 • 7 Comments

By Wendy Behary - Narcissists are notoriously difficult clients. The key to working with them is being direct about the roiling emotions they trigger in us, and remembering that their self-aggrandizement almost always covers up painful longings for true connection, intimacy, and a sense that they’re "good enough."

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The Girl in the Railroad Pajamas

Lost Children and the Failure of Empathy

Martha Manning • 7/17/2018 • No Comments

By Martha Manning - As a psychologist and a mother, I’m haunted by the children of immigrants we’ve all been reading about, stolen from their parents and callously detained. As therapists, we often bear witness to childhood suffering. Our choice of profession deputizes us as agents of change.

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Why Would Anybody Become a Therapist?

Reflecting on the Soul of Our Professional Identity

Barry L. Duncan • 7/6/2018 • 3 Comments

By Barry Duncan - It’s no secret that this is a tough time to be a therapist. In public agencies, we’re underpaid, overworked, and held to unattainable "productivity standards." So why would anybody choose to enter such a field? Recent findings reveal that therapists stay in the profession not because of material rewards, but because they value connecting deeply with clients and helping them to improve.

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Is Porn Incompatible with a Loving Relationship?

Talking Frankly About Secrecy, Shame, and New Levels of Intimacy

Joe Kort • 6/19/2018 • 6 Comments

By Joe Kort - Despite the undeniable harm that porn can do, we therapists need to bear in mind a fundamental fact: the overwhelming majority of people exposed to it don't become addicts. To begin to see porn in a more normalizing light, it can be helpful to understand the ways in which porn can be incorporated into a relationship without secretiveness or shame.

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When Victims Victimize Others

Using Empathy to Help Abusers Make Amends

Noel Larson • 5/31/2018 • 4 Comments

By Noel Larson - Throughout my career, countless people have asked me how I can work with clients who’ve committed sexual abuse, murdered their wives, or broken their children’s bones and spirits. My answer has always been the same: all I have to do is remember and feel in my heart the traumatized children my clients once were.

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Loving Wholeheartedly

Fraught Parent-Child Relationships Can be an Opportunity for Personal Growth

Leonard Felder • 5/8/2018 • No Comments

By Leonard Felder - Every now and then, we're lucky enough to meet someone who feels driven to let go of old emotional baggage and find the kind of freedom that comes with being able to love wholeheartedly, without inner reservation. When that person is a client, they're a great lesson to us in our own lives.

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A New Stretch of the River

Learning to Age with New Openness in Our Hearts and Minds

Mary Pipher • 4/7/2018 • 2 Comments

By Mary Pipher - As we age, our bodies and relationships change, and the pace of change accelerates. At 70, we’re unlikely to be able to function as we did in our 50s. We require fresh visions and new paradigms for framing our experiences. What worked yesterday will not be sufficient for tomorrow.

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