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When Three Threatens Two

Must Parenthood Bring Down the Curtain on Romance?

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - Sex makes babies. So it is ironic that the child, the embodiment of the couple's love, so often threatens the very romance that brought that child into being. But the brave and determined couple who maintains an erotic connection is, above all, the couple who values it. They know that it's not children who extinguish the flame of desire: it's adults who fail to keep the spark alive.

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The Cure Myth

We Need to Start Treating Anxiety and Depression as Chronic Conditions

Margaret Wehrenberg

By Margaret Wehrenberg - I’ve begun to put aside my idealized view that unless people overcome their difficulties once and for all, therapy is somehow a failure. That perspective seems simplistic and disconnected from the realities of what psychotherapy can actually provide. Evidence continues to accumulate that many people who have anxiety and depression suffer bouts of it all their lives, even after a good response to therapy.

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Therapy Tools That Last a Lifetime

Three Simple Breathing Techniques and How They Work

Patrick Dougherty

By Patrick Dougherty - When clients focus on their own breathing, they're making the most fundamental mind-body connection. Regardless of what they're talking about—childhood trauma, a painful marriage, or just the struggle to be open with you in the session—breathing can help them get in touch with their immediate experience and be fully present, for the moment, in their own lives.

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What Taoist and Zen Meditation Can Teach Us About Anxiety

Practical Applications for Beating Anxiety and Ruminating Thoughts

Douglas Flemons

By Douglas Flemons - Incorporating some basic Taoist and Zen assumptions and practices in our work can dramatically alter how we engage with clients and what we do to make a difference. We can't deliver Enlightenment, but we can help clients experience greater freedom in how they experience and relate to their problem.

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How to Locate Your "Felt Sense"

Eugene Gendlin's Six Steps to Focusing

Marian Sandmaier

By Marian Sandmaier - On a hot August morning in 2012, I sat with 25 strangers in a former Capuchin monastery overlooking New York’s Hudson River. We were there to spend a week learning about a therapeutic process known as Focusing. I couldn’t have known then that this deceptively simple practice would alter my life.

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Mindfulness Practices for the Skeptical Client

Four Strategies for Helping Therapy Clients Embrace Mindfulness

Susan Pollak

Clinicians often make a variety of mistakes while trying to introduce mindfulness, and in my 30 years of trying to figure it out, I’ve made all of them. So let me share some of my bloopers with you in the hopes that you can avoid them. After all, meditation teachers often say, “This practice is simple, but it isn’t easy.” Perhaps the best piece of advice for helping people stay with mindfulness is to have them find something enjoyable in the practice. And above all, do your best to make sure that the practice fits the patient.

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The Therapeutic Value of Buddhist Meditation

A Meditation Retreat Helps a Therapist Confront Cancer Trauma

David Treadway

I've been working hard on integrating Buddhist teachings and meditation practice into my life for six years now. But none of my spiritual practice prepared for my stage IV non-Hodgkins lymphoma that turned my life upside down two years ago. I was extremely sick and given a small chance to survive. In the first weeks, I spoke easily about the transformational power of illness, the gift of cancer. I thought I'd become enlightened. But in reality, I was out of my mind, quite dissociative. Buddhism doesn't mean being detached, uncaring, disengaged. I came to this retreat out of desperation. I'm here to learn how to live again.

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Using Mindfulness to Connect with Therapy Clients

Meditation Exercises Soothe Clients and Build Rapport

Jerome Front

In the spacious room where I'm leading a retreat on relational mindfulness, several dozen therapists sit with their eyes closed, silently attending to their breathing. Many people understand this process as a path toward individual growth and healing, and it is. But the paradox of mindfulness meditation is that in cultivating a more attuned and loving relationship to ourselves, we nurture our capacity for a more resonant connection with others. Mindfulness has a pay-it-forward momentum---for when clinicians are more attuned to their clients, they, in turn, can more readily move forward into greater awareness and kindness toward themselves.

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Mindfulness and Awareness According to Jon Kabat-Zinn

The Father of MBSR Reflects on Mindfulness Today

Rich Simon

On the 10th anniversary of the publication of Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World, Jon Kabat-Zinn will be the keynote speaker at the 2015 Networker Symposium this March in Washington, DC. He’ll explore the connection between the intensely private experience of living a meditative life and responding to the vast deluge of global and social problems we collectively face. In this interview, he explains the concept of mindfulness, how to practice it, and its role in the world today.

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Appointments With Yourself

Don't Mistake Your Schedule for your Life

Michael Ventura

We speak about “the present moment” and the ability to be fully present, and we claim a sort of smudgy understanding of what that means. But what is “the present moment?” Americans have heard and used these phrases for about 40 years, as Eastern and New Age concepts influenced psychology and other ologies. But obviously, once you delve into it, now isn't as exact a word as it appears. Plus, it isn't so easy to "live now" in a multimedia, interactive era of cell phones and pagers in which we're expected to be constantly available. To buck the odds takes courage.

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