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In the Marriage Zone

When We Are Two

November/December 1988

Marriage is the most dangerous form of love. Count the casualties and you know. It turns many people to stone. We all have seen that. Our society is cracking under the weight of many stone-lives. We all know that. But will we, or will we not, discover all that a man and woman can be? Marriage is not the answer, but it is the most demanding way to live the question.

Know Thy Selves

The Inner Lives of Couples Therapy

November/December 1988

Every couples therapist knows the experience. Just moments ago, as you talked to the wife and then her husband, you were struck by how likable each one seemed. You sensed their warmth, their humor. But now you've hit on one of those issues—perhaps it's a conflict about an in-law, or something about sex, or even the proverbial struggle about the toothpaste tube—and suddenly the people whose company you were enjoying earlier appear to have left the room.

Bringing Up Father

How My Children Taught Me the Secret of Fatherhood

May/June 1988
When author Frank Pittman became a father, he discovered that the childhood absence of his own father left him with no idea how to relate to his kids. This piece plumbs many men’s difficulties in connecting with their kids, and suggests how therapists can best help “amateur dads” learn the vital lessons for raising their children.
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The Facts of Life

Learning to Connect the Dots

March/April 1988
This piece started out as a reportorial piece on sex therapy, but nontherapist Fred Wistow soon blew past that assignment to investigate the ways in which our terror of intimacy can subvert the fragile magic of sexual contact. Here, he lyrically conveys the thrill of genuine lovemaking and the terrible losses we sustain when we run from it.
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Good-Bye Paradox, Hello Invariant Prescription

Palazzoli and the Family Game

September/October 1987
After Italian psychiatrist Mara Selvini Palazzoli became celebrated for her work with therapeutic paradox in the 1970s, she stunned the family therapy world with an even more flamboyant intervention—the invariant prescription.
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Cloe Madanes

Behind the One-Way Kaleidoscope

September/October 1986
At the Family Therapy Institute of Washington, DC they don't believe self-knowledge fires the engine of change and insist instead that therapy is really just a process of persuasion. Here, therapy is about metaphor and boldly sweeping clients along in unexpected directions. In fact, a visitor might wonder what on earth the institute's clients tell their friends about the things they're asked to do in the name of "therapy."

Take It or Leave It

The Therapy of Carl Whitaker

September/October 1985
Carl Whitaker was family therapy’s master of the absurd. This Networker profile described him in action demonstrating his belief that the unsocialized inner world of fantasy and impulse is a source of creativity to be defended against society’s abnormal normality.
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Behind the One-Way Mirror

An Interview with Jay Haley

September/October 1982
Jay Haley has been so successful in setting the terms for how we think about therapy and change (whether one agrees with him or not) that it may be hard to understand what the field of psychotherapy was like before he began commenting upon it. Probably more arguments about therapy have started by invoking Haley's name ("You know what Haley would say about this, don't you?") than that of any other figure in the field.
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